A funny fish and baby story

Someone asked today if a pregnant woman's water ever breaks in a dramatic like-in-the-movies sort of way.

Yup.  

I was nearing 40 weeks pregnant with my 12th baby and feeling restless.  I wanted to get out of the house and talked Pete into taking me to the pet store to buy him some new fish for the tank I had given him for Christmas.

I was waddling pretty heavily and as we walked into the store had a big contraction and then not really anything more.  Pete was choosing the fish with the girl who worked there and I sat down on a step stool to rest.  After a while I stood up to go see what fish he was choosing and as I stood, POP!  I was pretty shocked for a few seconds but rather quickly my shoes were filling with water and it was becoming pretty obvious.  I didn't know what to do!

I stood there rapidly trying to figure out how to tell Pete without horrifying the girl and simply could not find a way to do it.  I squished my way over to Pete and looked at him and kind of started laughing.  I finally looked at the girl who was holding a bag of fish in one hand, and said, "I bet you will never forget the day that the lady's water broke right in front of you will you?" and Pete just burst out laughing!

For a second or two I thought she might actually drop that bag of fish on the floor and with the levels of water rising already it seemed like maybe I should get out of there.  I told Pete to finish up and pay for the fish  since I was not really even having many contractions, and I would go out to the car, where I usually kept a spare diaper in the glove box and thought I might just be able to think of a use for it at that moment.

I waddled out past the check stands and two or three cashiers with nothing to do asked me if I was okay.  I guess I might have been walking funny; just maybe.  I am sure I was leaving a trail behind me.  I went out and got my diaper and sat in the car waiting for Pete.

A very few minutes later Pete came out laughing pretty hard.  After I had left, the girls working in the store quietly began awarding him the not-husband-of-the-year prize with their eyes.  The one with the fish marched him to the front of the line and told the other girls to get him OUT of the store quickly and why, and I am sure they were all imagining me out there delivering a baby all by myself with some scotch tape and a paper towel while my monstrously selfish husband bought himself some new pets.