Old Pottery and Gold Fillings

 
I am a new pot.  I am filled with crushed up old pots, and I hope a gold filling or two.  I also was made of very stiff clay.

I often tell my kids that if you look at a stop sign it is red no matter how often someone might tell you it is green or even how many people believe it is green.  (Unless it is a green stop sign, which would just be weird.)  The Bible is filled with Truth, and there are a few analogies that describe so poignantly how we are shaped, grown and made fruitful by the Lord.  Here is one of my favorites and how it applies to our lives

The Potter.

This one is very profound to me.  It is such a beautiful description of what God does in our lives and it took a while for me to learn enough about pottery to understand this one more fully.

1. God is the potter and we are the clay. Isaiah 64:8  8 Yet You,oh Lord,are our Father.  We are the clay and You are the Potter.  We are the workYour hand. A potter does a few things to his clay to work it.  He puts enough water to make it pliable and soft.  He also puts a fair amount of pressure on the clay to shape it, and he never takes his eyes off of the pot while He is working it.
   
   The working of the clay to make it pliable is God working on our hearts and adding the water of the Holy Spirit to make us softened.  Our hearts can become very hardened from hurts and the difficulties of life without God stepping in to keep us soft.
   
   When the Potter is shaping the clay He has to put pressure on it and pretty firm pressure.  We don't like change!  We like to stay the same shape we are, and we like to not have pressure put on us to change either.  In order for the softened clay to take a new shape the Potter has to put His hands on it and press in pretty firmly.  He has to have a plan for what the clay will be when it is complete and what the use will be for it.  If the clay has not softened enough the Potter has to press even more firmly to shape it.  The softer the clay, the easier it is to shape.
   
   When the Potter is shaping the clay, He can't take His eyes off of it for a minute.  He has to pay attention every second or it will fail and not take the intended shape.  It is very comforting to me as I feel the pressure of His hands, that He is paying particular attention to me as well.
   
2.   The potter can take all of the old mistakes in our lives and reshape them into beauty.Jer 18:4 He was making a pot from clay. But there was something wrong with the pot. So the potter used that clay to make another pot. With his hands he shaped the pot the way he wanted it to be.
   
   We make mistakes, and we mess things up, and we walk places we should not walk and do things we should not do.  The good news is that God can take those things and reshape them into the form He wants it to take.  I am awfully grateful for that.
   
   
3. Sometimes the things in our lives that are the most broken are used to create the most strength.  There is a process of tempering clay where old broken pottery is crushed up to add to new clay to strengthen it.  The old broken pottery is fully incorporated into the new and serves to add more strength than could be with new clay alone.
   
   I was so broken.  I was beyond broken and just a million pieces of mess.  God took all that brokenness and is using it to strengthen my new pot and to reshape me into a new creation. That is so miraculous to me!  The ugliest things He has used to create a new beauty.
   
4. There is a very old way of repairing broken pottery that makes it even more beautiful by using gold to mend the cracks.  When I think about this I think about Paul saying that we have the treasure in pots of clay  2 Cor:4  The beauty can only come through and show when the pot is broken.  Breaking is painful and looks ugly for a while, but the eventual beauty is far above the original.

                                       

I Am Not at *All* Sure I Can be Friends With Me

Boy, if I were to listen to the rumors about people like me I would be scared to be alone with me!  I would think I were nearly a terrorist, and frankly bad for the country, let alone the economy, and I would never be friends with me!  Good thing I don't listen to all the gossip about me or I might not have me for a friend.

For example.  I am a homeschooler.  This doesn't mean that I trap my kids in the house and hope that no one ever speaks to them, that I make them so weird that they are incapable of thinking for themselves, or that I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays called: "America: Yours for the Taking."  If I were to believe the rumors, I would wonder if my kids are even able to mingle in normal society or add 2+2 let alone read and extrapolate complex information and engage in critical thinking.

                                        

I read an article recently where homeschool debate groups, which specifically teach critical thinking skills, are being called training camps for world domination by brainwashing teenagers to spout the parent's agenda, and teaching them how to argue it most effectively.  Ummmm....have they ever even met a teenager who has been taught to think and examine information?  They think what they want to think and have their own opinions and once they find out how to think for themselves they do.  Trust me;  I have 5 teenagers as I write this!  Just trust me on this one.  Oh wait...maybe you are one of those people who can think for yourself.

I am a homeschooler, and yet, oddly enough, I have never in my life owned a denim jumper. Weird.

                             

Now see, here is the thing.  I am certain that there are crazy people out there.  In fact I have met more than a few.  I am also sure that there are some people who put their agenda above the welfare and well being and lifelong happiness of their kids.  I am certain of it.  But just because some crazy people and some homeschool parents do some crazy things doesn't mean *I* do them too!  I mean I know for a fact that every murderer in the history of the world has been a food eater.  So am I.  Does that make me inherently a murderer?  Or let's take a closer look at fundamentalist type of people.  Just because the news shows you pictures of prairie dress wearing girls, and boys in suspenders doesn't mean that they are all Amish, any more than there is a correlation between homeschooling and being an overbearing, abusive, brainwashing, crazy person.

                                                     

Yeah, I know it is more fun to think of those of us who have taken a different approach to raising our kids as crazy.  I get the entertainment value in it.  I do.  It is always more fun to think about the scandalous, titillating, and bizarre, otherwise circus sideshows and internet porn wouldn't have been the huge hits they have historically been.  But to make my point again, I can use the internet without looking at porn, just as I can homeschool without brainwashing, doing a lousy job of educating them, or abusing them.  I know, hard to believe, and yet true.  I don't even call my home a compound for pity sakes.

If it were true, I sure wouldn't hang out with me, because I would not be a very nice person, let alone any kind of loving parent.

Tips on Coping with Grieving Through the Holidays

Grief.  Man.  Who needs it?  It hurts more than you ever knew it could, and you wonder if you will ever be okay again.  When my daughter died (5 years 5 months and 10 days ago) it took me a long time to know I would be able to survive it.  A lot of people thought I was so brave.  The truth is I had no choice and time does help.  It just took a lot more of it than I thought it would.

The holidays especially are a minefield and so hard to navigate. You just never know when a sight, sound, memory, or smell will punch you in the gut and leave you in a puddle on the floor.  For most people it is the hardest and the first year is the worst, but not the only by far.

Pete and I spoke at a Grieving Through the Holidays event last night and today a dear friend posted some struggles on Facebook.  I realized that some of the coping tips we spoke about last night might help more people.

1. Don't try to recreate traditions.  They won't feel the same, and will hurt more.  Do something different, and the first year it is even helpful to do something totally different.

2. Realize that you can and will be caught off guard from places and things you would never expect.  Try to plan for circumstances, and even plan your verbal responses to various questions, and realize it is normal to get caught off-guard.  Plan for it as best you can.

3. It is okay to grieve with your family.  Don't try to hide it.  It will even give them permission to feel the feelings too.  Sometimes they don't feel it or allow the feelings in deference to you.

4. Don't create a shrine.  Save some mementos and special things, but don't leave whole rooms untouched or try to keep them there.  It won't help you heal to have that in your life.

5. Forgive the insensitivity of others.  Brace yourself for some of the hurtful things people say and remember that they took the time to talk to you and meant well.  Some people won't take that time and make that effort.

6. Grieving can be inconvenient.  Try to make appointments with yourself to cry and get it out so there is less built up when it is not convenient and you get caught off guard.

7. Husbands and wives can grieve at different times and different ways.  It is okay.  Your grief is your own, and no one will deal with it the same way you do.

8.Constant suppression will turn pain into anger.  Anger is an easier emotion to manage but the pain needs to be felt to be dealt with and gotten through.  Your goal is to get past it the best you can, not save it for later.

9. It is okay to share, but be careful with whom you share.  Not everyone will be compassionate, or able to be sensitive.

10. Find a non-consuming outlet: writing, music, exercise, a new project etc.

11. When you are deciding what things you want to do or events to attend, try to decide based on what you would have chosen before.  If it is something that would have given you pleasure before, it is very likely to bring you pleasure now.

12.  Talk about your loved one.  Remember them.  Speak their name and encourage others to do so as well.  The memories are sweet, even when it hurts too.

50 Things I Want My Kids to Know Before They Leave Home

People don't always agree with me, and I am okay with that.  I started homeschooling back when people would ask if it was legal to do so.  I believed in safe homebirth way back when, and I have never thought I was raising kids.  I am raising adults!  With that goal in mind, I intentionally teach my kids certain things.  Many years ago we wrote a list of what we want them to know and understand outside of traditional academics.

It is like cooking a meal.  You start by knowing what you want to cook and how you want it to end up and how long you have to do it.  If you are cooking a turkey dinner, you know that it will take 4 hours to cook and if dinner is at 5 pm and you need to let it rest you should pop it in the oven at noon, and if the rolls take 15 minutes you need to get them in at 4.30 to get them cooked and served.

The same principle applies.  If you want your kids to be able to cook well, you have to start early enough to teach it well, and give them time to practice before they leave home.  By the time my kids are 10 or so they can cook at least one breakfast, lunch and dinner meal, by the time they are 15 or 16  they can manage a week's menu and cook the meals, and by the time they are 18 they can do all of that plus do the shopping, including sales planning, and cook for a special occasion.  It just isn't possible to teach all of that in a year or less and do it properly.

By the time my kids are 18, and in no particular order of importance, I want them to be able to:

1. Talk to a stranger for a job, or help, or to make a friend.
2. Speak or perform in front of an audience.
3. Change a tire.
4. Do their laundry.
5. Plan a menu and shop for a week's food.
6. Speak about classic books.
7. Know why they believe what they do, not just what.
8. Be comfortable caring for a baby, child, and elderly person.
9. Type at least 30 words per minute.
10. Cook at least 10 different complete meals.
11. Change the oil in the car.
12. Find an alternate way to make money, be entrepreneurial and able to sell.
13. Cut hair.
14. Articulate their thoughts.
15. Manage their money, including tithing, giving, and saving.
16. Manage their time including punctuality and not procrastinating.
17. Work hard.
18. Be adventurous and try new things.
19. Know and understand nutrition.
20. Basic home repairs, such as a clogged sink, window repair, painting, etc.
21. Have basic survival skills like purifying water, starting a fire, and finding directions.
22. Know how to tell what is a bargain and what is not in various things: food, cars, clothes, housing and services etc .
23. Drive in snow.
24. Write a letter of complaint.
25. Give to people in need.
26. Find information and sort through the good from the bad, and truth from fiction.
27. Bookkeeping for home and a small business.
28. First aid and how to treat illnesses.
29. Drive a stick shift.
30. Cook for a party or special occasion.
31. Bake a pie.
32. Plan a party or special event
33. Basic sewing: mending a tear, sewing a button, making a curtain or pillow etc.
34. Change a bad mood.
35. Store food, and what to keep in a pantry.
36. Make people laugh.
37. Read a recipe and cook with it.
38. Cook without a recipe.
39. Jump-start a car.
40. Get a job.
41. Plan a strategy.
42. Share feelings appropriately and handle conflict.
43. Have fun.
44. Take a good photo.
45. Braid.
46. Bake bread.
47. Love people.
48. Plant a vegetable garden.
49. Do the best you can do, not the least you can get away with.
50. Forgive.

Someone took this list and made an interactive quiz from it.  Want to take it?  :)
http://www.listchallenges.com/50-things-to-know-how-to-do