More Random Observations

1. Clouds and wind make me want to eat soup.
2. I am more of a sucker for my dogs begging than my children.  So weird!
3. When people buy Starbucks coffee, they often hold the cup so you can tell where they got it.
4. Your only employment option if you have lost a leg is pirate.
5. Quilts and comforters are far more cozy than blankets.
6. A bird taking a bath in a puddle can make me grin no matter how bad a day I am having.
7. No matter how you live your life, someone will disagree.
8. I watch cooking shows and all the chefs use a frying pan to crack pepper.  It seems odd that there are gadgets for every possible thing in the kitchen but you have to use a frying pan to crack pepper?
9. I feel absurdly proud when one of my house plants gets a new leaf.
10. A grape will explode in the microwave.
11. Mexican food is almost all the same thing but folded differently.
12. There are exotic fruits that you would have a hard time convincing me to eat.
13. You can really tell a lot about people by the way they handle tangled Christmas lights.
14. You can also tell a lot about people by the way they act when the plane comes to a stop.
15. Tequila is a really fun word to say.
16. People who want to do things the old fashioned way always go back to Victorian Era and almost no other.
17. I often have to bribe me to do things.
18. The more years that go by with my not needing math skills other than addition subtraction, multiplication and division, the more I feel vindicated.
19. I still think about what I want to be when I grow up.
20. It is far easier to open a banana from the bottom.  It is what monkeys do.

I am a MEAN mom! (I am not raising kids!)

I want my kids to be fully grown up when they leave the house.  I want them to be able to plan and cook full, nutritious meals without getting fleeced.  I want them to know how to plan time, and money to care for themselves and a family.  I want them to know how to remove a stain and repair a lost button.  I want them to be able to get a car insured and maintain the vehicle.  I want them to know how to manage a real life.  I start young and I do it while I can still teach them.  It is a deliberate plan and a conscious decision.

I don't want to raise kids.  I am raising adults.

My newly 7 year old doesn't yet do his own laundry.  My 8 year old is responsible to do all of her own.

I do not wake my 15 year old up for a very early class and he would have consequences for missing it or being late.

My 11 year old son cooked dinner for unexpected guests a month ago or so, because it was his night to cook.  He cooked spaghetti for 20 people and it was no big deal.

I work a lot and my kids ages  9, 11, 12, 14, 15 each take a day per week and cook dinner.  My 17 year old does all the grocery shopping for the family.  I make the menus and shopping lists.  He is responsible to make good financial choices for the list and stay in budget.

In order to get a driver's license at our house you have to pay for driver's education or arrange for it yourself; have 6 months of insurance money saved up, set the appointments yourself for the test, and pay for your own gas.  If you want a car, save up for it and buy one.  You will also need to get it licensed and registered yourself.  You also need to know how to change a flat tire, jump a dead battery, check the oil and other fluids, and change the oil.

Several of my kids as they got jobs were shocked that other kids their ages had to be actually taught how to sweep a floor.

We don't give allowances but we do offer lots of opportunities to earn money.  I pay $5 per hour which is what a minimum wage job takes home after taxes.  I also allow them to bid for work such as the summer yard work etc.

Everyone has a room in the house that they are responsible to keep clean according to age.  (So if you pop by, keep in mind that Ben is responsible for the living room m'kay?)

To go to Community college this year 17 year old Jake was responsible to fill out the FAFSA, follow up on any financial aid available, save his money for additional expenses, register for classes and set his own schedule.  We were available for advice and counsel as needed.  We will pay for 50% of tuition as needed as long as his grades are 3.0 or better.  We do not pay for books, travel, lunches, and other school expenses.  He has a job, and has few household chores other than biweekly grocery shopping and  occasional errands.  His friends still have their mom pack a lunch for them and don't even own an alarm clock.

My 12 year old daughter does most of the haircuts in our house.

My 15 year old son does most of the car repairs and maintenance and is responsible to make sure that the pets are registered and get vet appointments as needed.

1. Don't do anything on a regular basis for them that they can do for themselves
2. Expect capability not incapability.  Give them responsibility and hold them accountable.
3. Teach life skills from a young age (5 and up), cooking, laundry, shopping, cleaning, etc.
4. Yes, they can do their own laundry.
5. Let them pay for things.  When was the last time someone bought you a car as an adult?
6. Let them fail while they are still under your umbrella.
7. Let them make mistakes and help them learn how to deal with the results.
8. Teach them that decisions have consequences both good and bad
9.  Let them feel successes that did not include your help.
10. Don't get stuck on perfection.  They will do it wrong and imperfectly.