The other day I put a new bulb in my bathroom. When the light bulb burned out we were out of new bulbs and I had to wait til the next day to get that new, oddly- bluish light. Night time excursions required an open door, and a watchful eye, and I appreciated the light in the way you do things you normally take for granted.
It brought to mind Jesus talking about how you don't light a lamp and then hide it from view. In those days they never took light for granted the way we do. The idea of lighting a lamp and then wasting the light was laughable; silly; absurd.
You have also heard the parable of the talents. The master gave the first man five bags of gold, the second man two bags, and the third man one bag. The first two doubled the money and returned to the master twice what he had left them with. The third man was afraid and hid the gold and returned it to the master exactly as he had left it and the master was angry about it.
Every one of us is given gifts. God lights our lights. It sure seems that some people are given five bags of gold to my one lonely bag! But each of us has the gifts God gave us on the day we were born. Some people are musicians. They are born that way. Some are artists, and from a young age they draw and paint on everything in sight. Some are dancers and are graceful and fluid in their movements. Some are born mathematicians, or naturally hospitable. Some people have a gift of joy or can build anything. Some have many gifts and some have only one.
Something I have noticed, especially among the women in my life in all the various places and walks of life, is a tendency to be afraid and want to hide their light under a bushel; to want to bury their gold to protect it. This tendency is not just women of course, some men too. But in our culture women especially feel embarrassed by their talents and gifts. It seems that they think it is bragging and boastful to be upfront about what God has given them. No one thinks that a woman with a beautiful singing voice is boastful if she sings for others to enjoy. But if your gift is leading, it is somehow felt to be bragging to discuss it and openly search for opportunities to use your gifts. Or what if you have a gifted mind? How can you share your gift without appearing to be a braggart?
It seems that the more important the gift is to us and the more gifted we are, the more vulnerable we are in sharing the information since often there has been one or more *someones* who have made us feel embarrassed to think we could have an important gift from God.
So we hide our gift. We tuck it into a safe place, thinking that it can't really be a gift because why would God give it to such a person? God wants us to develop our gifts. He wants us to use them and grow them and increase what He gave us. He wants us to return more to Him than he gave us.
I can't draw a stick figure, and I can't sing a note. I am not a dancer or a musician or a great writer. But God gifted each of us. He gifted me and He gifted you. He gave you stewardship over a precious bag of gold, or two or five, and He wants you to multiply it. He wants you to not be embarrassed by the gifts He chose for you. Are you able to make a beautiful garden? I can't. Can you carve wood into shapes that it never had knew before? I can't. Can you sing a lullaby to your baby? I can't. Can you see and make sense of numbers to make them show you secrets? I can't.
I need your gifts. I am less whole unless you share the gifts God put inside you. I need your beautiful gardens, and paintings. I need your music and your bridges. I will offer you my gifts, and share with you without shame or embarrassment. Because I know that you need my gifts as much as I need yours.
God didn't light your lamp so that the light could be hidden.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Does Time Heal All Wounds? 4 years later...
Does time heal all wounds?
No. It does not. But it does do *something* that I have been trying to define.
What does time do? Time teaches.
Grief is a giant thorn ball that is bigger than me. It was thrust into my life by circumstances that I had no control over and no choice but to accept. It sits, invisibly, in front of me every single day, every step I take, every thought I think, every plan I make. It pokes with sharp spines and stinging poison. It intrudes where it was not invited and stays long past polite behavior. It is rude, and crude, and leaves dirty marks on the walls and floors of my heart.
Time has taught me how to step around it. Sometimes. Time has forged a path that can lead me around the spines and into a softer remembrance. Sometimes.
But even Time can't soften the spines or remove the poison, and Time can't teach grief better manners. There are events and circumstances that muddy the path that Time so painstakingly taught me, and while the mud remains, the spines poke as sharply, and the poison is as debilitating as it ever was.
In 4 days it will be the 4th anniversary of Rachael's accident. She would have been 17 in July. My path is pretty muddy.
"Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
I think He uses Time as a tool for that.
No. It does not. But it does do *something* that I have been trying to define.
What does time do? Time teaches.
Grief is a giant thorn ball that is bigger than me. It was thrust into my life by circumstances that I had no control over and no choice but to accept. It sits, invisibly, in front of me every single day, every step I take, every thought I think, every plan I make. It pokes with sharp spines and stinging poison. It intrudes where it was not invited and stays long past polite behavior. It is rude, and crude, and leaves dirty marks on the walls and floors of my heart.
Time has taught me how to step around it. Sometimes. Time has forged a path that can lead me around the spines and into a softer remembrance. Sometimes.
But even Time can't soften the spines or remove the poison, and Time can't teach grief better manners. There are events and circumstances that muddy the path that Time so painstakingly taught me, and while the mud remains, the spines poke as sharply, and the poison is as debilitating as it ever was.
In 4 days it will be the 4th anniversary of Rachael's accident. She would have been 17 in July. My path is pretty muddy.
"Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
I think He uses Time as a tool for that.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Another Funny Fish Story
Yesterday we held a fundraiser carnival complete with facepainting, games, and cotton candy. It was great and we raised $642! And it brought back memories of previous parties we have had. We used to have a massive party every summer, and we probably ought to start them up again! We had a costume party with all you can eat cotton candy, and snow cones, carnival games, bouncy houses, cake walks, etc.
One year we decided to do a ping pong toss to win a goldfish. We got little glass vases and put beans in the bottom of some and some we put goldfish in, and lined them up. If the ping pong ball went in any vase, then you could win a gold fish. Simple right? Easy, fun and inexpensive since goldfish are only about 12 cents each.
We got everything ready and the night before the party went to the pet store and bought about 200 fish (the number of kids expected at the party) and put them in a five gallon bucket. In the morning I discovered 198 dead goldfish in the bucket! Now if you have ever had a dead fish you probably know that a burial at sea is the accepted funeral. Shall we just say that if you have 198 dead goldfish it is a much more lengthy process? We figured that maybe that many fish just didn't have enough oxygen in the bucket over night.
We had 200 kids invited to a party and a goldfish game all ready but no fish. What could we do but go buy more fish? So we did. Another 200 fish in a freshly-scrubbed bucket on the way to the park to set up. All was well. Well...until.
I was pretty busy setting up, and organizing games and welcoming guests and making cotton candy and checking the prizes and it wasn't until a couple of hours into the party that I checked on the fish game. When I went over, to my strong dismay I saw a little pile of dead fish on the grass, and then another little pile...and another. As I walked, I saw my son who was running the game, dip out another couple of fish and begin a new pile. I looked around and more carefully looked at the little kids circulating through the party in their cute little costumes, and to my horror saw many of them happily clutching plastic bags with a prize of brand new dead pets floating around in them. We quickly replaced the dead fish with live ones, and apologized and tried to not make a huge deal out of it.
As the day progressed I began to avoid looking at the plastic bags too closely because more often than not there was a floating rather than swimming fish in it. The grass around the park pavilion began to look like a goldfish cemetery, and there was an odor building in the area. Why the dead fish ended up on the grass didn't make sense until I realized that my son had used the grass when he had 15 kids at a time lined up to play the game and no time to do anything else with them, so the kids thought that is what you did with a dead fish.
Picture if you will the children of all of my friends and family, and friends of friends, walking around with a baggie full of a dead fish as their special gift from me.
And let's not even discuss the park clean up after the party. Ever again.
Once again Corinne throws a successful party!
One year we decided to do a ping pong toss to win a goldfish. We got little glass vases and put beans in the bottom of some and some we put goldfish in, and lined them up. If the ping pong ball went in any vase, then you could win a gold fish. Simple right? Easy, fun and inexpensive since goldfish are only about 12 cents each.
We got everything ready and the night before the party went to the pet store and bought about 200 fish (the number of kids expected at the party) and put them in a five gallon bucket. In the morning I discovered 198 dead goldfish in the bucket! Now if you have ever had a dead fish you probably know that a burial at sea is the accepted funeral. Shall we just say that if you have 198 dead goldfish it is a much more lengthy process? We figured that maybe that many fish just didn't have enough oxygen in the bucket over night.
We had 200 kids invited to a party and a goldfish game all ready but no fish. What could we do but go buy more fish? So we did. Another 200 fish in a freshly-scrubbed bucket on the way to the park to set up. All was well. Well...until.
I was pretty busy setting up, and organizing games and welcoming guests and making cotton candy and checking the prizes and it wasn't until a couple of hours into the party that I checked on the fish game. When I went over, to my strong dismay I saw a little pile of dead fish on the grass, and then another little pile...and another. As I walked, I saw my son who was running the game, dip out another couple of fish and begin a new pile. I looked around and more carefully looked at the little kids circulating through the party in their cute little costumes, and to my horror saw many of them happily clutching plastic bags with a prize of brand new dead pets floating around in them. We quickly replaced the dead fish with live ones, and apologized and tried to not make a huge deal out of it.
As the day progressed I began to avoid looking at the plastic bags too closely because more often than not there was a floating rather than swimming fish in it. The grass around the park pavilion began to look like a goldfish cemetery, and there was an odor building in the area. Why the dead fish ended up on the grass didn't make sense until I realized that my son had used the grass when he had 15 kids at a time lined up to play the game and no time to do anything else with them, so the kids thought that is what you did with a dead fish.
Picture if you will the children of all of my friends and family, and friends of friends, walking around with a baggie full of a dead fish as their special gift from me.
And let's not even discuss the park clean up after the party. Ever again.
Once again Corinne throws a successful party!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)