Saturday, January 7, 2012

Seeing the World in Black and White

A few minutes ago I was sitting in my family room watching a movie when two wet giggling little girls came and stood in front of me.  One daughter age 8 and one granddaughter age 6 had been doing the dinner dishes when it seems that a water fight broke out.  Prior to that they had been in there developing secret handshakes, singing together and giggles were all over the place.

I pictured my kitchen dripping, and the dishes not done, and the mess that was sure to be there and...chose to laugh with them.  I could have gotten mad at them.  I could have punished them for disobeying.  I could have scolded them for being silly instead of getting the dishes done, and honestly there was a time when my oldest kids were very young that I thought being consistent and keeping firm rules was more important to their future than anything else.  I wanted to be a good mom.

I still do want to be a good mom.  I was a good mom back then, but I think we all missed out on a lot of fun times that we could have had by me learning when to flex and when to not.  It is a trick and one that I have learned to do better.

Would I have chosen to laugh if the same girls had been naughty and disobedient all day long?  Probably not.  But they were cheerfully doing the task I had assigned, when some Fun showed up.  What were they going to do?

I know a lot of moms who miss it; who are so focused on the rules that they forget that the joy in our lives resides in the playtime and that we need to be silly, laugh and play.  This is where we gain the kids' trust and their hearts.  Rules are important.  They are.  So is grace, joy and love.  Schedules are important.  They are.  So is the ability to flex your time for a friend in need.  A clean house is important.  It is.  So is cuddle time, rest, and sometimes...

A water fight in the kitchen.

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