Morning people. AKA: the bane of my existence.

I know some of you.  You can't hide from me.  Some of you are Early Risers (ER).  I see you sitting there smugly on your third cup of coffee with your 7 loads of laundry completed at 6:00 am.   Which I suppose is okay with me in it's sad and twisted way.

 

But here is the deal:  All of you ERs think that there is something wrong with the rest of us who live in the real world.  When someone wants to get up at stupid o'clock in the morning (which is anything earlier than 7:00 am) I give them that freedom.

I allow those around me to participate in all manner of activities that I think should be illegal.  Things like eating sushi, or watching Clint Eastwood movies.



 I am a very tolerant sort of person that way.  I seldom mock those that like to go to bed three minutes after dinner is done, or people who shower in the morning instead of the correct time which is just prior to bed.  I accept the people who handicap themselves by deliberately putting the toilet paper on the spindle improperly and also those that use that weird shampoo.

I mean hey, it is all personal preferences and I can learn to stomach your choices even at personal cost to me.  It is clear that I am seldom opinionated and can trust that while you are foolhardy and clearly unbalanced, that you have the right to make stupid choices.  This is America.

But why can't you offer the same level of complete acceptance to normal people like me?  I don't like to get up at the butt-crack of dawn and start work while it is still pitch black outside.  I get far more pleasure from a sunset than a sunrise and no, you can't convince me it is so much more beautiful to see the sunrise.  The only time in my life I have voluntarily seen the sunrise *after* going to bed, was when I  had a plane to catch and it was not fun for anyone near me.

There is a certain level of cliquish superiority that you ERs possess that makes the whole group of you feel that those of us who prefer the evening hours to the morning hours are an inferior lot destined to lives of unproductive squalor.  Admit it.  You think that anyone who stays in bed past 8:00 am is flat out lazy and hardly worth bothering with.  I have seen your d wide-eyed deer-in-the-headlights expressions when I casually shock you by saying that not only have I slept until noon on more than one occasion but I wasn't even sick when I did it!

I am convinced that you all have the idea that without you ERs the productive world would grind to a barren halt.

I am here to stand up for those of us who have been maligned for far too long! Those unspoken and unnoticed and, I truly believe, the majority of people who see early mornings as a curse upon society.  I am taking a stand and fighting for our right to be heard, I tell you!  Heard in the streets and the normalcy of waking  at a decent hour brought to the downtrodden and sleep deprived of America! 

Let our sleep mask be the symbol of our protest and our cry for equality!