Rated PG 13: Why Doesn't Anyone Talk About This?

Many years ago I was talking with a mom of a young girl, age 10 or 11 who had been molested a few years before.  She was heartbroken because her sweet little girl was now acting out in sexual ways and the therapist had explained to her about sexual activation.  Her daughter was now activated, and it is like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube to stop that process.

It is a long known fact that when girls are molested they often become promiscuous and far too sexual at a far too young an age.  It is even easy to see which girls those are if you work with groups of kids; you just know them and your heart breaks for them because you know what has happened to them

But there is another side to this that is as beautiful and sweetly amazing as the other side is dark and ugly.  Why don't we talk about this?  Why is it that we are so shy about talking about the beauty of sex the way God created it to be?  It was His idea, and yet we don't address it for fear of introducing something too big into our kids lives too soon, and I do get that, but when every rap song in the car next to you, and every 8 year old kid is discussing it in detail at school, and there are dirty jokes written on the bathroom walls with detailed drawings done by the 2nd grader, and your daughter is hearing from her classmates even in church, it seems to me that I would rather be the one to have these conversations with my kids.

I was telling a friend earlier this week that I horrify my children on a regular basis because I am very open about talking about sex.  It is easy to make it about what it is, not about me, but about what God created and why.  I want them to ask me the questions they have, and it really is very comfortable in general.  I do admit I have been asked some questions that made me pause, and have to breathe a little before answering, but, there is always a way to answer, and it is an honor to be asked.  I also want them to know WHY to wait for marriage, not just that they should, but why they should, and the answer to that question is way better than just things like no risk of pregnancy, and no disease.  So let's talk about that today.

There is a very real sexual activation.  The Bible talks about it in Song of Songs 2: 7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
    by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
    until it so desires.

This phrase is repeated 4 times in the book, which is a pretty clear indication that it is important.

So here is the thing that is so amazing and so beautiful and so, so, so, so worth waiting for.

When a couple waits, and comes together as the first and only partner, this awakening happens in the most safe, and incredible place.  This bride has the opportunity to be awakened by her husband, and he has the only place in her heart, forever.  What a gift!  It is so much deeper than a loss of virginity.  It is so precious and valuable that it cannot be estimated, and it is a great loss that should be mourned any time that is taken from the couple by anyone.  This is a lifetime of trust and closeness that a couple can share with only themselves, private, intimate, and beyond special between them.  It is a glue that can hold them together in times that might damage them.

This is why we want them to wait.  This.  We want our children to have that relationship that cannot be had any other way.  We want them to have that joy in their lives.

God can heal anything, and He can make good a mistake made along the way, and bless and give us true joy.  But some things, once lost, can never be recovered, and this is one of them.